We Are Not That Different

Have you ever noticed how people are willing to criticise? No! Don't believe you. It is human nature. What we do. So much easier than praising people. Why do we do it?

We do it because we are basically the same, human behaviour never changes, the view of it changes, but the behaviours themselves do not. Behaviours are viewed differently in different situations, because of the social status of the persons or person enacting them or perhaps because of the percieved power position of those people.

Lets get one thing clear, I am not a behavioural psychologist, nor an anthropologist I am an observer of people both as individuals and in groups. For over 25 years I have had the pleasure to work with people from all walks of life, different educational experiences, different socio economic, cultural and international backgrounds. From these experiences I would make a simple observation, we are not that different.

What do I mean? A statement made on Radio 5 a few months ago astounded me, the comment made was that 'the more money you earn the more choice you have about how much tax you pay' this was not new information but it was how seemingly ordinary this notion was. People can choose how much tax they pay and that's okay. I wonder if the person had made the statement 'the less money you earn the more choice you have in the amount of tax payers money you receive'.

We know that many wealthy people avoid paying tax, we also know many people claim more benefit than they are entitled to or make decisions that tax payers end up paying for. Essentially these groups are behaving in exactly the same way. They have placed their own needs above everything else, the concept of fair share does not enter the equation. They will celebrate their feats in cheating and be celebrated by those in their group, others will learn from them and repeat the exercise and some will even earn a living teaching others how to do it. One more thing you can be assured of is that one group will criticise the other for the way they behave! Before the rest of us feel too smug about not being in either group, how many times have you driven through a built up area ignoring the 30 mph speed limit?

'The Old School Tie' is a well used phrase and is often used to criticise wealthier people who help each other along the way. There is no doubt that certain people in a certain group learn things and get support from being part of a that group. Is it any different though from how other people act? Recently I was able to secure my son a summer working in Switzerland through family contacts, I have been able to secure him a work placement in an area he would eventually like to work because of the people I know. I have used my network to help him. People work and live in networks. For some the one they know is the benefits network, they are surrounded by people who are trying to live and they are learning from those people in the same way as a young person growing up in the surroundings of a private school is learning to live from the people they are surrounded by. The behaviours are not different but the same behaviours are valued in some groups and not in others.

What groups do is they help format the young, they instill values, ethics, language, attitudes and so much more. They can also ingrain prejudice, engender intolerance and instill a negative or selfish view of the world. The behaviours of individuals within the groups and the collective itself are basically the same and very often a small group for example a gang, a sports team or a school can reflect all the human behaviours of society in a small observable context.

So we take our behaviours into groups and as a result the value placed on our behaviours by others change. The behaviour of the Bullington Club members is high jinks, the behaviour of young people drinking in the park is vandalism and the sign of a community in meltdown. What value judgements do is make the same set of behaviours for one group desirable and those same behaviours for another group the very opposite, open to criticism and complaint.

This current government have brought class back into the political and social debate and with it a judgement of certain behaviours and actions being superior to those of another social class when in actual fact they are generally the same just displayed in different social setting. I remember a radio interview, just after David Cameron became PM, by a contemporary of his at Oxford. In the interview she suggested that he would make a good Prime Minister because he was well bred, whatever this meant I interpret it to mean that the behaviours displayed by him are somehow superior.
                              
The message for us all is look at ourselves before we judge others because we may be doing exactly the same thing. Try to understand and help change negative behaviours wherever they are witnessed but, more importantly, as educators we have to be very aware of what we model for our students. There is always the danger we are saying one thing but modelling exactly the opposite, more importantly displaying exactly the same behaviours we are challenging. As Oscar Wilde said 'talent borrows, genius steals'